Famous
by Palo112
Summary: A little one shot Cloti about fame you don't want.


**I don't own FFVII**

**A silly little story I woke up and had to write**

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It was about ten when Cloud got home. Tifa was waiting for a few customers to finish their beers and leave.

"Hey," She smiled at him. " I didn't expect you back yet."

"I got off a little early." he shrugged, his face impassive, and leaned on the bar. "The kids in bed yet?"

"Only just," She smiled at him. "Their probably still awake if you want to say Hello."

"Alright," He said quietly. "Has it been busy tonight?"

"A little," She shrugged. "Nothing bad."

He rubbed the back of his neck. Something was wrong, Tifa could tell. His face showed nothing but she knew.

"What's up?" She asked.

"I'll tell you in a few minutes." He sighed. "Is there any dinner left over?"

"I'll heat it up for you." She smiled at him again. She always tried to give him smiles when he got home. Maybe one day he would return them.

"I'm going to say goodnight to the kids. I'll be back in a minute." He pushed himself off the bar and went into the back room.

Tifa sighed and walked into the kitchen. It was that bloody stone face of his, never any emotion. She had learned how to read him over the years but she still wished he would show something.

She popped the plate she had saved him from dinner into the microwave and watched it turn slowly. She always saved him dinner. He shouldn't even have to ask anymore.

He came back down the stairs just as she was pulling the plate out.

"Thanks," He said quietly and sat down at the little table they had for family dinners.

She watched him eat for a moment. "So what is it?"

He sighed and reached into his bag. "We've reached a new level of fame."

Tifa rolled her eyes. After the whole incident with Kadaj they had become quite famous. Rufus Shinra had given an interview telling all about what had happened then and during Meteorfall. The whole incident with Deepground had only made things worse.

Last halloween there had been AVALANCHE costumes on sale in the grocery store. It had been very disturbing to see little girls running around dressed up like her and Aerith for a night.

Cloud tossed something to her. She caught in and looked down at the movie in her hands.

"They made us into a porn?" She asked incredulous.

"They didn't use our names but yes." He shrugged.

The movie case promised hours of hot action. There was a picture of some guy in a bad blonde wig holding a girl in an pink dress that was almost completely undone.

"Is that supposed to be you?" She asked doubtfully.

"Turn it over." He took a bite of the meal.

On the back was a group picture. No one really looked like they did in real life. The black man playing Barret was short and lean, Cid was fat and way too old. Aerith and Yuffie had good bodies but Yuffie wasn't even Wutainese. She felt a blush rise to her cheeks when she saw herself. The woman playing her had the most disgustingly over sized boobs she had ever seen. Tifa's boobs were large she knew but they were no where near that size.

"Good lord," She said to herself.

Cloud nodded agreement.

"What are you going to do with it?" She asked frowning at him.

He shrugged. "Watch it."

"Why?"

"See how bad it is. I don't know wether to be flattered or disgusted."

"Just make sure the kids don't see it." Tifa sighed, sometimes she almost forgot that his brain was four years younger than his body. Or maybe it was just a guy thing. Either way she didn't see a point in stopping him.

He took the movie back from her and stood up with his plate. "Ill let you know how it is." He waved over his shoulder and disappeared into the private living room.

She returned to the bar and started prepping for close. The guys in the corner booth seemed to be wrapping up.

It was an hour and a half later before she finished closing the bar. Dishes had taken longer than she had thought. She made sure the door was locked and turned off the lights. Cloud looked over at her as she entered the living room but didn't say anything. She leaned on the back of the couch.

The volume on the TV was turned all the way down but she could see the approximation of Yuffie getting reamed by what had to be Loz, Yazoo, and Kadaj.

"So?" She asked.

"It's pretty bad." He said his face made of stone. "Apparently Sephiroth came back again only this time he's stealing all of the sexual desire in the world. There was some of him and these random girls. Then you and Yuffie had a lesbian scene that was so hot Aerith came back to join in on the action." His voice was totally emotionless. "After that there were a few scenes of you getting teamed by Cid, Barret,Reeve, and Vincent."

"Eww." She wrinkled her nose.

"It could have been worse." He said.

"How?"

"Red."

"Okay you're right." She had to admit.

"Then Aerith and Yuffie ganged up on me. Now Yuffie is distracting Loz, Kadaj, and Yazoo while the rest of us go after Sephiroth." Cloud shrugged.

The two of them watched as the scene ended. The whole gang appeared on the screen, minus Yuffie, and faced off after Sephiroth.

"Why's the volume off?" She asked after a minute. Sephiroth was giving a long speech.

"They kept making annoying puns about my sword." He answered.

Tifa couldn't help smiling, he was almost overprotective of that sword. "Anything about my fists?"

"A few, I think Barret has the worst though."

Tifa looked at the screen. Instead of the gun that was welded to his arm Barret had a dildo. "Yeah, that's pretty bad."

Sephiroth finished his speech and she and Aerith flung themselves at him while the guys took on his silver haired horde of women.

Tifa and Cloud watched in silence as the orgy continued. She couldn't help shaking her head. She was sitting with Cloud watching a porno that had people dressed up like them in it. Could this get any more awkward.

The orgy finished and Sephiroth was vanquished without much real effort. The scene switched. The woman playing her was standing across from the man playing Cloud. They were talking, she seemed to be asking him to take her.

Tifa sucked in her breath, the love triangle between her Cloud and Aerith was famous now too. The woman had absolute love and adoration in her eyes. She got down on her knees begging the man.

It almost seemed real. It was almost like she was begging him to love her just like Tifa had always wanted to do to Cloud.

Suddenly Aerith breezed past the woman and wrapped her arms around Cloud. He laughed and turned to walk away.

That's when Tifa broke the DVD player.

"Jesus Teef," Cloud actually looked surprised. It was the first emotion he'd shown all night. Then the cocky little smile crossed his lips. "Was it getting to you?"

"Shut it Strife." Tifa snapped and stormed up the stairs.

The next morning Cloud woke to loud clanging and occasional shrieks coming from the kitchen. He hurriedly got dressed and went downstairs.

The sight that greeted him made him grin. Tifa was throwing things around and making breakfast. Marlene and Denzel were huddled at the table eating their food and trading scared looks.

Cloud quickly dropped the grin and composed his face in his usual blank manner. He walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table.

Tifa glared at him. "Here," She shoved a plate of food at him, nearly tipping it into his lap and stormed out of the room.

"Cloud," Denzel looked at him worried. "Did you make Tifa angry?"

"Yeah," Cloud shrugged.

"The DVD player is broken. It has a huge dent in the middle of it." Denzel commented.

Cloud gave the kids the smile he never showed Tifa. "I said something I shouldn't have."

"Why?" Marlene asked.

Cloud grinned at the little girl. "She's cuter when she's angry."

**Just had to make Cloud a smarmy bastard, don't ask why.**

**Please review. I would really appreciate it.**


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